26 Terrible Dating App Texts That Fumbled the Match Before It Even Started

Author image for Inés Soubrie
Inés Soubrie • Writer and Editor
Jul 16, 2026 6:00 PM EDT

Why are so many dating app profiles actively trying to stay single?

Dating apps have managed to make meeting more people feel like meeting... fewer people. You can swipe through hundreds of profiles in a single evening, yet somehow keep running into the same five personalities. There's the person whose bio simply says, "Ask me." The one holding a fish in every picture. The serial "fluent in sarcasm" enthusiast. And, of course, the person who opens with, "Convince me you're worth my time." No thanks.

Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I've always thought dating should involve at least a tiny amount of mutual effort. If your profile already sounds like a performance review or your opening message feels like you're interviewing candidates for an unpaid internship, you've probably forgotten the point of the app; you're supposed to be meeting people, not testing their patience.

The funniest part is that so many of these dating app disasters are completely avoidable. Nobody is expecting perfection. You don't need the funniest bio on the internet or professionally curated photos from every vacation you've ever taken. Just... act like someone another human being would actually enjoy talking to; that's a surprisingly high bar these days.

Then there are the people who sabotage themselves before the conversation even begins. They'll complain about dating apps in their bio while actively using one, list twenty things they don't want in a partner, or write three paragraphs explaining how much they hate small talk. It's a fascinating strategy. I can't imagine it inspires many people to say, "Wow, I simply have to match with this ray of sunshine."

Dating is awkward enough already. The apps don't help, but they aren't entirely to blame either. At the end of the day, they're just introducing strangers. Everything that comes after still depends on how people choose to present themselves. Personally, I think the best profiles are usually the simplest ones. Show a little personality. Be kind. Be funny if that's your thing. Give someone an actual reason to start a conversation instead of making them solve a puzzle.

Until that becomes the norm, though, we'll always have screenshots like these. And while I'd never wish a terrible dating app interaction on anyone, I have to admit they make for some spectacular comedy once enough time has passed. Sometimes the worst first impressions end up giving the rest of us the best stories.

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